Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Lenzian Calendar System

Hard to believe how quick this month flew by, but I love it because we are inching closer to the inevitable spring. The quickness of this month got me thinking that maybe it was just that the month is 2 or 3 days shorter than the rest of month. That got me thinking, we need a Lenzian Calendar System (LCS) in which every month was only 28 days...

28 days a month times 12 months gets us 336 days in the year, leaving us two ways of going about the remaining 29 days:
  • Option One -- Forget the 29 days all together. Doing so would screw up the weather calendar and seasons since each year we would fall behind by a month. But who cares though its not like we can tell what the weather is going to be in a given month now a days anyways? Heck this week alone it will probably be 75 on Tuesday and the following Tuesday we will get 4 inches of snow. One benefit of this would be that those people who have birthday in winter months can now look forward to having a summer birthday for once! This same idea really screws up holidays like Forth of July and Christmas, which would people in a outrage when it snows at your Forth of July party or that your plastic baby Jesus in your lawn melts from the hot summer sun. Okay so option ones got some flaws so lets move on..

  • Option Two -- Add a 13th month of 29 days and every four years a month of 30 days to replace the leap year. Now if this going to happen we are gonna need to make a rule that when this month does happen everyone in the world is not allowed to work (well not everyone, food service /entertainment industry I am looking at you) and we need to have a global party. It would be great to because it could be the first holiday in the world that everyone would celebrate, since not everyone in the world stops for holidays like, Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years as the Western world tends to believe. Plus who wouldn't look forward to every four years when there is ginormous global party on the 29th and 30th!
I like option two for the Lenzi Calendar System, so let's expand on that...

Where do we place this extra month? Placing it at the end would be bad idea because New Years is already a holiday and if were going to make a new holiday we don't it to clash one that already exists. With that in mind we need to look for a time where there is a gap in the holiday schedule and I cant think of a better place to put this new month that in between July and August. Currently we have July 4th and then nothing til Labor day, time to break that up right? Placing it here would be beneficial too cause we can start giving people whole new thing for people to complain about since this idea wouldn't be ignorant of western society but of the northern hemisphere society.

So who wouldn't like the 13th month? While they would no longer have to worry about the 4-4-5 schedule, accounts would hate the idea of not having even quarters in the year. Solution make your quarters run off of the season changes. Cant really think of any one else who would be impacted so much, but I think business would like it because it would make comparing monthly easier. Same goes for you at home too with your utility bills and establishing a budget.

Under the Lenzian Calendar System holidays would be unaffected by the calendar shift, since there are no major holidays that fall after the 28th. If you are thinking Thanksgiving or Memorial Day you're forgetting that because they are flexible holidays, in which they occur on the final Thursday/Monday of the month their given month.

Now for the people who have birthdays on the 29th, 30th, 31st of the month, they can pick any day they want with in 5 days of their birth so that there is not a flood of birthdays on the 28th or 1st. Think about it, if the people born on a February 29th get over it and so can you.

As a person who loves consistency, I would enjoy the LCS because until the year change every day would have a designated day since the month would always start on the same day. Therefore those of us who get payed bi-month, like myself, would know with certainty what day you were getting paid. Plus it would be even 14 days each time. For example, next month is going to stink because I am going to get paid on the 13th because the 15th falls on the weekend, and then will have to wait a staggering 18 days until I get paid again.

So lets get some comments going. Whats your thoughts on the Lenzian Calendar System? What do you like or dont like? Where are there flaws or benefits that I am missing?

4 comments:

  1. personally, i think that you must have too much damn time on your hands at work when you're supposed to be working that you actually hatched this whole idea up, complete with support -- unbelievable!

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  2. Terrific comment, lover. At first I admit I was skeptical, but after seeing that you seriously teased all the kinks out, I became a believer.

    I really do not like the inconsistency in days as it is now. Personally, I think we should flatten them all out, and give the two-three days BACK to February--why does it have to be short to begin with?! I mean, seriously...WTF?! But adding another month, as your idea suggests, could do that as well. I'm wondering why we don't just keep the 12, so that accountants are happy with their quarters, and then add/split it evenly. Unfortunately that bows down to 30.5 (roughly) per month, which as we know half days don't exist.

    To solve this probably, I propose a 6 day overlap (7 days on a leap year) GOLDEN WEEK (similar to Japan), stuck in between July and August, like you suggest, where we have global visiting. Like everyone travels and we just party with everyone in the world. Or something like that. It would be great.

    This way, you'd still have consistency in days, quarters and seasons (roughly). It would extend the summer for sure, and that's always a good thing. Usually the start of September is HOT and school is dreadful--why not push it back a week?! Eventually we'd have most of fall off. The only problem is balancing out seasonal changes and dates. If we add to and shave months then we might be certain to have august be frigid in a hundred years, or less I bet. Regardless, this is great idea--and I think you should call Obama and DEMAND it being pushed in his "First 100 Days" Schedule!

    There's another way to look at this for sure: Think of the Jewish Calendar...It operates almost exactly the way you lay out the Lenzian Calendar in the sense that it goes around the lunar months, the frequency of earth's rotation on its axis, and something else; moreover, their years are generally 12-13 months. That is why the Jewish Holidays always seem to shift. "When is Channukah this year?" is a question frequently heard among the Jews. Although it's ALWAYS the 25th of Kislev, the Western calendar does not run on Jewish months, so it's tough to match it up.

    http://www.jewfaq.org/calendar.htm

    Way to Distract the Hell Out of Me
    Love, Josh

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  3. In all seriousness, the global party idea is about the best thing I've ever heard. That tops even month to month length consistency, which in my opinion would produce a massive productivity boost for companies and individuals. Removing the need to concern one's self with "what is the end of the month this month", could cumulatively free up enough brain power to cure cancer.

    In all seriousness.

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  4. Well, at least you're keeping with your Italian heritage with your desire to alter the calendar and name it after yourself. Kind of like the Caesars. There used to be ten months in the year, but Julius came along and decided to redo things a bit and name a month after himself in the process (July). I think August was named after the next emperor, Caesar Augustus.

    Think about it--Sept is the Latin prefix for seven, but it's the ninth month. Oct means eight, but it's the tenth month. Nov means nine and Dec means ten.

    Earlier months of the year were named for Roman gods: January was named after the god Janus, March was named after Mars, and I'm not sure about the rest.

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